Paean to Zaadz

Okay so this blog has been burgeoning for ages. I've been sitting on it and I guess it's now time for it to hatch. It's not a big deal, not at all, it's just that, well, I wanted it to come out just 'right'. Hah. So, however it comes out, here it is, perhaps fur (? well this chick has fur) a little rumpled and standing up on end, perhaps a little wobbly on her feet.


The conception of this blog really happened when I read Dryad's beautiful blog Holding the Light.  It is a kind of love letter to Zaadz, to the seeds of all who dance across her path, all those who weave this amazing tapestry of Zaadz.

And yet I've thought about my own paean for a while now, even before I read Holding the Light. I've been part of Zaadz for over a year now. My relationship to it has changed and developed, had gone up and down, and the past weeks I've felt a shift - as if all the threads, all the 'seeds' of Zaadz are sprouting, not individually, but into something whole and connected, many and yet One, a being who has passed adolescence, who is stepping out into the world, the universe -- and who knows where else, standing tall and large, soul shining bright and unfolding out and into all that is.

At first I was interested. I mean that package ( I applied to be an Ambassador ) now that was impressive. I sat up and took note then.

Now, although I said I wasn't a switcher - I'd not touch MySpace with a barge pole, I'm not totally unused to internet gatherings, I've been on a 200+ person email group for nearly 10 years - the basis of which is to 'share your inner dialogue' - what's going on for you as honestly and openly as possible, and be available for feedback. It has been extraordinary, ordinary, boring, infinite, finite, life changing and wonderful-- and...just plain text, and not exactly public in the way Zaadz is. You can't find this group on the net. You have to be 'in the know' ( and connected in some way to the spiritual teacher Paul Lowe). And sometimes it is a little goldfish-bowlish...

Anyway, here I was on colourful, wide open Zaadz. wandered about, made a few friends. And then, one or two friends proved to be more than just that - they were full of heart and self-lessness. I was stunned. Michael, who never failed to be there for me, always there when I had a question about how to support someone in difficulty, Burt, such a loving being, also always there for me, with love and humour, just what I need for my daily nourishment. And then dear Kevin, who showered me with delight, talked film and beauty and all else with me, Rhyno, my first Zaadz Skyper, full of encouragement and life, the astonishing m. alan, metaphysician indeed, so different to me, so similar. And Mary, dear Mary, Haiku-queen, a friend for life. Uma, wonderful inspiring Uma. Crow, wise woman, who I read here and there for a long time and I said 'yes', everytime, and then finally we took the step and became 'friends'. We were that already, without even speaking to each other. Mushin, oh yes, Mushin, who could not be touched by him? Ron, spirit guide, wound healer, the light who sees into the corridors of my soul. There are so many others --  the many beautiful Michaels, another Mary, strong and inspiring; Dana, bright star, Dryad - woman of mySelf; Photizo, the visionary who lives his vision... If your name is not here, it does not mean you have not touched me or made a difference - for you have, each and everyone of you who I have 'stumbled' across in a pod, or collected here in my basket of friends.


And the Zaadz team. Where to begin. With Siona of course - every word she writes is an inspiration. ~C4 - now where on earth did he come from? Somewhere I'd like to visit that is for sure. Matthew - always there if I needed, Obi, who I'm only just discovering, the lovely Jodi.... all of you, and I see the team is growing...

And Brian of course. I planned a blog answering the question "What would I do if I were CEO of Walmart" - I never got to it, but the answer is easy: Resign. But not before ensuring that my successor was Brian Johnson, our Great Leader...

But there is more to this journey of mine here in Zaadz world. At one point it took me away from 'this' world. I only wanted to be here, and I had a frenzy of connecting and threading and posting and and and.. I think I blew a socket or two. It was just too much.



Some enforced vacation, no fast line, no wifi, settled things a bit.

And then Zaadz shifted again. I met in person three zaadzters - Uma in Cologne ( she lives in India, what synchronicity that she was visitable with) Mushin in Berlin and Donan in Pennsylvania. Each one I'd like to have living next door to me. I'm about to meet another, and I'm sure to feel the same way about him.

Now this is extraordinary. How often do you meet someone who you truly feel connected with? I mean truly? I remember my mother reading me some survey that you could only handle 6 friends. That more than that was too much, and unlikely anyway. The rest would be acquaintances. Well, that was more or less true for me, until Zaadz.

There is more. Uma invited my partner, David, and I to come to India and offer our work there. It's happening. Early stages yet, but it looks like February next year. Donan participated in one of my Diving Deeper writing workshops. He now wants to organise one in Seattle. Mushin, well, there is no doubt in my mind I'll be seeing him again, perhaps holding a workshop at his place in the Czech Republic.

And I'm noticing this thing I mentioned before - a particular kind of cohesion - I felt it before all the announcements about John Mackey investing in Zaadz.

I felt it before the Switch thing.. I felt it. I felt it in the few pods I dabbled in, I felt it in the air. A strengthening, a coming to life, a manifestation of something that was not 'instead' of my non Zaadz life, no not at all, it seems rather to expand and enhance all aspects of Life itself.

Now this may all seem too much. I'm not really into big corporations. I'm not not into them, it's just not my experience. I come from a haphazard bohemian background where nothing was cohesive or large. Well, there was a moment, a few years after my birth where my mother became famous, but apart from that it was a very very different life to the so called American one. But something is going on here, perhaps it is part of the omega point, the eschaton; perhaps Zaadz is part of that whole singularity thing, I don't know. But I am truly grateful.

Zaadz got me blogging. Hah.

I didn't even know what a blog was before I started here. I had a mad, wonderful ride with Julian, who taught me the art of blog commenting. Blogging  got me thinking, feeling, creating. Not that I didn't do all of those things before, but this is like being offered an exhibition by a great gallery owner. I'm continually inspired, continually encouraged to keep looking within and without, and to stand up, for all to see, naked, vulnerable, bossy, opinionated, chaotic and simply me.

My physical state is such that I could not have said yes to such a gallery invitation if it was in the so-called real world. My system cannot handle so many things --  so much activity, so much electricity, so many people in so-called manifest state.

But here, well here I can do anything, all in my own time, in my own space, tending to my garden-self when I need, and yet being as large as I wish, amongst, what is it? nearly 50,000 last I heard. Amazing.

It's going to get bigger, much bigger. I say yes, bring it on!


There is no question that my life has gotten more wonderful since I became part of this -- this what. I don't even know what to call it. It's more than a community, it's a thing all of its own. An experiment that is unfolding before my very eyes, a work of art, a universe, a manifestation of Love.

Thank you Brian, thank you everyone at Zaadz, and thank you everything and everyone who made this incredible world, all of it, possible.

There is only one thing that would add to my pleasure: to work for Zaadz. I'm working on this one, I am. First step is to put it on my list of goals. It wasn't there before, but it's there now.