DIVING DEEPER: Notes Along the Way #2

The Uncertainty Factor

In  Diving Deeper: Notes Along the Way # 1, I wrote:

The blank page as been called the greatest challenge to man/womankind.

Each time we sit down to write, we are called forth to dive into the unknown. I encourage you to experiment with not planning or thinking about what you are going to write about. Thinking is not the same thing as writing.

Diving Deeper is very much about making friends with uncertainty; it's very much about moving towards fear, being curious about your inner demons, looking at them in the face and saying, “Hello, who are you?“.

Planning what you are going to write about and sticking to the plan is a way to avoid fear. It is a way to try and maintain a sense of safety, a structure, a known path. It actually doesn't work, in my experience, at least not for long. It also tends to produce dry, lifeless writing.

Even if you are in the midst of a novel or memoir or other piece of writing and have a clear “idea“ of what you are writing about, I suggest that you take time each day (if possible) to sit down and write with absolutely no plan at all.  Of course there will be ideas and thoughts hovering about, wanting your attention. See if you can let them hover, in the background, and simply sit at your desk ( or wherever you write ) and let the blank page face you, not knowing what you are going to write about.


Uncertainty is never comfortable. Even if you have a 'tolerance' for uncertainty,  it's not “comfortable”. Comfortable is not what you are looking for. Comfortable puts you to sleep -  in your life and in your writing.  As the wonderful Sam Shepard said in a recent interview:

“If comfort was what you were looking for, you'd never write. Sometimes you do need a certain level of comfort, so you can tun the TV on or take a bath. But the search for comfort doesn't result in writing.”

It may be that  facing the blank page with no plan is simply a warm up, a way of getting you into “dreaming the dream”; a way to getting the bits and pieces of day-to-day thoughts and worries floating around in your head out of the way before you get stuck into your 'real' story.

However, if you are willing to continue, I can promise you this dive into the unknown will reveal all kinds of rich and exciting material. It may even take you off on a thread you had never even imagined.

This is how my own novel started. I always thought of myself as a 'creative non-fiction' writer: I write stories inspired by my own life experiences. And then one day, sitting in front of my 'blank page' out popped a being that was from a future time, another world. It was the very last thing I expected - fantasy and science fiction was at the bottom of my list of possible subjects for me to write about. This story is absolutely on the edge for me - I don't even know the world I'm writing about, let alone the characters. And because of this I'm constantly drawn there - even if I'm not writing, I'm thinking about it. It's a bit like one of those locked drawers in the parent's room…

When I am writing this fantasy story, I'm forced again and again to let go of any ideas about what I'm writing about. I have to let the story, the characters, write themselves.

This “uncertainty factor” is not only when you start to write, it's something to stay in touch with all the way along.

The uncertainty factor is the same thing as letting go of attachment to outcome.

If you focus on what your writing is going to be 'about', how it's going to 'end', what it's going to 'tell the reader', you will stymie the creative process right off the bat. You are doing what I call 'directing traffic', and by doing so you will most likely end up in a traffic jam - aka the dreaded Writer's Block. 

One way through the traffic jam is to through caution to the winds, drive like those crazed Vietnamese drivers who pay no regard to traffic lights or traffic lanes, they simply go for it. Curiously, I've rarely seen an accident in Vietnam. It is as if they enter a heightened zone of awareness, and this is what I'm looking for as you 'dive deeper'.

It is not easy to write without letting the various 'critics' control what comes out of your pen or your keyboard. We are all deeply conditioned to be judgmental of ourselves and what we do - especially if it is called, heaven forbid, 'Art', or Creative Writing. 

I've mentioned elsewhere that I make little distinction between creative writing and other kinds of writing.

What is fiction? What is reality? What is memory? What is truth? Do we know?

I will talk more on these subjects later, especially the memory-truth issue, but for now what I want to emphasize is: throw away the box of rules, put aside what you think is right or wrong to write 'about' -  let it all come out, every which way, spelling mistakes and all, but especially subject matter.

The Muse wants to loved dirty and clean, however she comes out. She wants you to open the door and say “yes,” regardless of how she looks or sounds. By saying “yes,” you are sending a message to yourself that you are okay no matter what, that what you have to say will always be listened to. In this way the writing journey supports your life journey, and the source of creativity is opened wide.

Your writing is a very clear mirror of your inner world. The more you hold yourself back, the more limits you place on what you can and cannot do, think, feel, the smaller your world becomes, and your writing will reflect this. Use this mirror as a tool - it can support you to see where you are cutting off the flow of energy, where you are not allowing your deepest voice to be heard.

Ask yourself questions as you write: Am I holding back? Am I avoiding writing something because I don't think it's “okay” to write it?

As you sit there, facing the blank or partially blank page, notice what images or themes arise which hold a certain amount of fear or energy for you. Often they are scenes from childhood, or subjects you believe are taboo.  Can you go for it? Can you take the leap and write something you want to push away?

There is only one way to do this: begin. Just start to write. Let the words be your guide, rather than the other way around.  If it is a scene from your past, experiment with the present tense, it might help. You can always change it later.

What I call writing on the edge - writing without attachment to outcome, without letting your critic control the story, writing towards fear and uncertainty rather than away from it  - is always engrossing. To the reader and to you, the writer. And you are the one who matters.

If what you are writing about does not hold your attention, you won't continue to write. If you start controlling what you write “about” or how you write, you will get bored and stop writing. It is the process of writing that is important in my 'Diving Deeper' book, not the outcome.


So: Take the leap, throw away all ideas of what you are going to write about, and allow yourself free reign to write anything -  and keep doing this, over and over again as you are writing.




© 2007 by Sandra Jensen
Notes Along the Way are  part of the DIVING DEEPER: A Writing Workshop pod.